My Weekend

Um, here's some things that I enjoyed about my weekend:
1) A bubble bath with candles, Ella and Louis. Perfect.
2) All the Xena I could handle, and then some.
3) Putting on nail polish (it was clear, but it's the effort that counts)
4) Wearing leather pants and makeup
5) Party favors with the woman
6) Michael Jackson being played at Labrys (great club). Not only did they play my fave song (Billy Jean) first, but then they played Beat It right after and finally Thriller. I almost cried. I danced instead and now I am Michael reincarnate.
7) After glow in the car on Sunday with Sheli driving through numerous tunnels to get to Ansan.
All in all I think the weekend was super duper. I'll see you all later!

Ooooh I'm in trouble!

Today I woke up at 5:15 and decided not to go to PT. I made up another lame excuse and of course it worked...but deep down inside I know that I cannot be doing this for much longer. I'm going to get in trouble. I never come in on time and I leave early. I'm so apathetic to work lately. I have no motivation to do anything. You can tell by the number of blogs I have posted during the daytime. Ugh, I need a new job. Anyway, on to more exciting things.

Dude, I totally woke up from a nightmare today. I have to write about it so that I don't forget.

I don't totally remember the whole dream or really any of it. I remember two things very distinctly though. First was me walking through a building with dead ends everywhere...Second (and most disturbing) was watching Jesus being crucified. It wasn't bad enough that he was on the cross, but that the cross was on the ground and his head was towards me and he was looking upside down at me and it almost seemed like he was upside down but not. Then his body started to rot, like his skin got all puffy and he didn't look like himself and the holes in his wrist where the nails were put in started to puss this white stuff that kinda looked like a huge mushroom growing out of his wrist and his face was pussy gross. His arms started to bend weird and all I remember him saying (or maybe it was the way he was feeling that I could sense) was that he was worried his body wouldn't be in a good enough state for heaven or to be the savior or something. I have no idea what this means but if someone could give me their interpretation that'd be great. I had to shake myeslf awake and then was too scared to close my eyes for a while. I got out of bed and was afraid to open my door, like someone was waiting for me and it was really really creepy.
Oi, what a dream...

Josephine "Snatch" "Spawn" Astphan

Spawn is the devil. End of story. If you don't know who spawn is, consider yourself lucky and ask no more questions.
I'm tired. I was good this morning...got up at 8 and had a really REALLY nice shower :), then I ate breakfast (which I didn't even have to make) :) and now I'm at work, which really hasn't been that bad to be honest. Today is a good day. I think tonight I'll go to the gym again to continue my buff-fest. I need to stop spending so much time staring at myself in the mirror when I go to the gym though. You know those huge guys that are all professional weight lifters? I go and start doing bicep curls with the 20 LB dumbells and I think I'm deisel, so I'm all staring at myself in the mirror like "damn you are so sexy when you lift those weights" but really I'm still scrawny and the big guys are giggling. Orrrrr, they're kicking things around with roid rage (I saw that the other day and laughed at the dude, and I don't think he liked it...)
Anyway, moving on from that.
i guess that's all from horea. I'll check back with ya'll later...
peace

The gym

Dude. Let me say a few words about the bitch that works at the front desk at my gym today.
1 - she wasn't going to give me a locker. idiot.
2 - when I asked for one she gave me the blue locker key.
BLUE IS FOR BOY LOCKERS AND RED IS FOR GIRL LOCKERS. DAMNIT!!!!! I AM NOT A BOY I AM A GIRL. I HAVE BOOBIES (although some boys have man-boobs, that is not what I'm talking about) so, I said, can I use a blue key in the girls locker room? And she giggled, ohhh verry sorry ma'am, here you go.
DAMNIT, DO I LOOK LIKE VIN DEISEL OR SOMETHING, I MEAN SHIT...I KNOW I'M BUFF BUT DAMN!
Ok, that's it.

Found

Whew, I'm found. No more lost Alyssa.
My day was good, no complaints about work. I'm about to hit up the gym (one of my favoritest times of the day...besides eating). Speaking of eating. Today I was able to go to lunch with two other officers and order food at a Korean place that spoke no English. This is a testament to both my abilty to "read" and "speak" Korean. I put that in parentheses because I can't actually read it or speak it well, but I have made an effort and I try which is a lot more than most US soldiers can say. Anyway, it was exciting to actually get what I wanted and what I ordered. Go me!
One more note of good news. I found out that when I finish with my current job in December they are not going to move me to Battalion, I get to stay in the company but kinda downgrade a job again. (I'm not upset about this at all, it means I can sham-a-lam-a-ding-dong all day long, YEEHAW!)
Um ok bad news. There's a typhoon in Taiwizzle and Sheli is stuck in it. It does suck that she isn't coming home tonight...but it just means I can go and skank it up for one more night. Oh shit...Sheli, are you reading this? Oh you are reading it. Well in that case I totally didn't mean that. :0. Hehehe, no really though, it does suck. But whatevs, I get to go to the gym now which is exciting for me.
I'm outtie...talk to ya'll lata!

Lost

Today I feel lost. I have no idea why. Maybe it's because I was on duty for 24 hours and I just woke up from my nap. I think that room did something to me. People always ask why I pay others to do my duty but I think it's pretty obvious after last night...IT MAKES ME CRAZY. And now I'm all sad. I think I am actually going to work to get away from my boredom. Holy sheet mang, what am I saying? There is no place I hate more than work. Really. I want it to go away so bad and I can't do anything. I can't even make it better there because the assholes that work at battalion call me every five minutes to micromanage. I'm about to ask them if they want my job because it's getting ridiculous. I can't even make a decision without them knowing because if they don't know they get all pissy and cranky and I really think they just want my job. Well fine! Take it, I'm giving it up. As of right now my job is up for grabs, and anyone that wants it can have it. I'm going to start going to work and just not doing anything (not that I did anything before) and when they call I'm going to answer every question with "I dont know", even if I do. Then they'll fire me and I can get an easier job...oohhh except the army doesn't work like that and my life would be a living hell...so i'm now forced...FORCED...to do a good job to avoid getting stuck with a bad eval and a worse job. It's a vicious cycle and I'm in the middle of it and I want out.
Whew, sorry...that was a good vent session. Now I have to go get dressed and go to work with a smile on my face and a super duper "Can-Do" attitude...YAYYYYYY!!!!!! :)

Staff Duty Sundays

Question...What time did I go to bed last night?
Answer...2:30 AM.
Question...What time did I have to work today?
Answer...8 AM. (Do the math...I had to get up at 7 to get ready)
Um, that left me with 4.5 hours of sleep. How about no, Scott. I'll pass...
So today I'm on duty from 8 AM to 8 AM tomorrow. 24 hours in a small room...I will tell you what I do have though...A TV with sorta cable and a DVD player, a sketch book with some oil pastels and wax crayons, music, a couple books, and an imagination. Wait, scratch the imagination part. This room has sucked my will to live and with it went the imagination. I have gone to eat a few times today and go to the gym so it's not like I'm at a prison camp, although lately the Army has started to feel more and more like a prison. When I finally get out I'm going to publish memoirs and it's going to be a total hit on the Army and it's lack of skills in the area of personnel care. What it comes down to is, I don't feel loved by the Army. The Army has never hugged me. I want a hug, damnit. Bastards.
Well, now that I've successfully wasted 10 minutes of the 12 hours I have left, wait I'm an idiot...I have 14 left. This room apparently also makes me stupid. Great...I'm going to have to go read Machiavelli to regain the lost brain cells. Leave me a message here so I don't go insane...

Saturday

That is the most unoriginal title I could come up with. Well, it is Saturday. I guess it's appropriate.
Every time I see the phrase "potent potables" I think of Will Ferrel saying it on celebrity jeopardy on SNL and I repeat it in his voice. Watch, I'll do it right now "potent potables"...I guess it's funnier if you hear me do it. Yeah, way to go Alyssa...
My cat says hello to everyone. At least I think that's what she's trying to convey to you all. Although...she is just biting my hand. I think maybe she's hungry, or just the spawn of Satan. That's my nickname for her and it fits her well. This morning, she put a full claw into my ass. INTO MY ASSSSSSS. Why? I woke up because of that and I haven't gone back to bed since. Way to not let me sleep in on a Saturday.
So I am on yahoo messenger right now and some gross fat ugly 31 year old guy is like, what do you look like. So I said...are you a girl? He's all...no. Well, I says, I don't think this is gonna work out. Plus you're old and I'm young...Peace. I don't think he liked that but I really don't care. Guys are so gross...ugh, thank Goddess I'm gay because if I wasn't I'd be pissy all the time.
Ugh, now I'm going to go lounge on the couch, watch Xena and eat. Then I'm going to nap. What a great Saturday...but...I'd rather be on this island off the coast of China getting tan and taking party favors....but that'll have to wait for another time :) Ok, Peace!

Potent Potables

I'm not sure why I chose that as the title but it's damn funny. Will Ferrel is a God.
So I was watching the olympics at lunch today and the womens 800M relay was on. The announcers were so excited about swimming...I mean we DID win and we DID break a world record, but I thought the announcers were going to dive into the pool and frolic. They didn't though, which is too bad because it would've been fucking fantastic. Ok, back to my story. Then, we get to the vault for gymnastics. These announcers are the shizzy.
"USA steps up...ok and he's off and running, wow, great jump, a lot of height there, wonderful turn and.....OHHHHH wow. I can't believe he just fell. You know, you can't fall like that in the olympics" NO SHIT! The announcers are idiots. I think the American people are not so retarded as to think that the falling completely off the mat and onto his ass could be recovered. Just a stupid statement of the obvious. Why are there even announcers for gymnastic events I don't know. If I can just watch them do their thing, and then see the scores at the bottom of the screen after they finish I'm happy. I don't need someone to tell me that the guy fell.
Oi, had to get that out, but now I'm going back to work...or whatever it is that I do.
K, talk to you later :)

Burning eyes

Oi, it's 6:09 AM and I'm at work. I'm supposed to be at PT, but I'm not. I'm in here instead doing nothing. I have on desire to put on a flak vest and exercise when I could be sitting in front of a computer reading email and blogging. In fact, when I'm done with this blog, I'm going to go take a nappy nap in my back office. I happen to have a cot AND a sleeping bag there...how convenient.
So, Sarah, yeah I know I should come home, but if you only knew how much extra money I make here you'd understand. I will be back in April of May of next year, even if it is just to visit :) We'll totally hit up pulse, but no velour jump suit girls from Cranston. You KNOW she was a Cranston girl too, you can't deny it. Oh man, what about the hottie bartender...what was her name? I was in love with her because she did shots with us...she was old, but still really hot. Enough about pulse, I'm jelous....
Ok, I hope everyone caught the message posted by the now famous Person Y, AKA "Sheli". She graced us with her presence on my blog and I was excited. Hopefully she'll say hi again. I'll see if she minds me putting up a link to her blog, and even if she does mind I'll put it up anyway.
Ah ok, I could be sleeping right now, and as much as I love writing, I love sleeping more. I wouldn't be so tired if I had gotten more than, oh say...2 HOURS OF SLEEP last night. But it's my own fault...
Catch ya later!

Lesbian years are like dog years...

Have you ever heard that song? Cuz you need to if you haven't. I think it is so appropriate and necessary. It's true though. I'd go through and explain it but the song does it so much better. Just thought I'd share that with you.

So, my weekend...good times. Friday night I actually didn't go out and drink, holy poop. I had a good reason though...
Saturday night I took Y to the ballet ;) and then we met up with some peeps for a night of dancing, where I proceeded to drink maybe a little too much and get a little skanky. Nothing wrong with that. Oh except for when I passed out in my bed, but we won't talk about that. I'm still a little cranky...

Now I'm back at work and I've done nothing for an hour and a quarter, but that's not new. I'm thinking in about five minutes I'm going to get up and do something...maybe...ok yeah I'm going to get up. I just had to take five minutes there to convince myself that working was not a bad idea.

Ok I'm outtie but you all have a good day (or night depending on where you live) and write back.

Another Day

This is one of the best parts of my day...and at the same time one of the most depressing. I'm sitting in my office at 7:46 AM surfing the net and generally being unproductive. This is part of the great two hour gap between PT and Work Call that the army calls "personal hygiene and breakfast time."
I don't know about you, but it doesn't take me two hours to shower and eat.
Instead, I spend my time checking my civilian email, writing a blog, ensuring the Red Sox are not sucking too badly, and finally (this is where it gets depressing) reading my work email.
The work email gets me. Some of them are stupid, some of them require me to do a little extra work, but some of them downright blow chunks. This guy (we'll call him Ed because that's his name and I don't care who knows it) is a dick. A DICK! He likes to write an email about me to all the people who outrank me and tell them I could be doing better if I just used his technique...but he doesn't ever just email me to help. He's a grownup version of the tattletale you had in kindergarden.
The email got sent to two Majors, two Captains, a warrant officer, myself and my buddy. And just for the record, I hate you Ed. I HATE YOUUUUU!!!! That made me feel better.
On to better topics. There is a fantastic Salvador Dali exhibit at the Seoul Art Center (or as we trendy foreigners like to call it, the SAC) this weekend. Over 300 peices of his art will be there. So being the suave girl that I am I extended an invitation to person Y. She said yes and I'm excited because I think it'll be good for us to hang out in an environment that doesn't involve me getting wasted and killing more brain cells. Hopefully I can sound halfway intelligent when I open my mouth to speak to her. Do you know how hard I had to try not to eat like a slob on Sunday? So hard that I was sweating because of it, and we were sitting under the AC. It should be a good weekend and I'm really looking forward to it.
Well, now that it's 7:55 AM, I guess it's time to take a shower and go eat...

Drunk blogging

Ok, so is drunk blogging like drunk phone calls? I think maybe it is. I love the drunk phone call though. I don't know why we're all compelled to do it...or maybe it's just me.
Well, I think I better keep this one short since I've had a little bit to drink. :)
Let's do a recap of my day.
1) I have to brief a two star general tomorrow...let me break out the KY jelly now because I'm going to get it bad....
2) I ate nothing today (ok maybe half of a sub at subway and a little spaghetti) because I've been all excited and whatnot over person X*.
Wow, that's it. My life is maybe not as exciting as I thought it was. I'll have to try harder tomorrow to have more spunk in my day....
Peace


* Want more info on person X? IM me and we'll chat...

Which date???

Ok, so I got a text today asking me to go out tonight with person X. Person X is FUCKING HOT but also maybe a little psycho. I don't know, but I know there is hotness there. So I make tentative plans for person X. Then person Y, the one I was telling you all about from last night that is super hot, asks what I'm doing today. Of course I decide to hang out with Y over X. I have to lie to X but it's worth it. Me and Y went to dinner and then we came back here and watched a movie. I was sitting next to Y the whole time wishing I had enough courage to just grab her hand or something...but alas, I am a moron and I never did. But better off that way because I think it's good to take it slow.
All of you shut up. I know what you're thinking...Alyssa??? Take it slow??? I know it's almost an oxymoron, but hey, everyone needs a little change. Besides, Y is so worth it. I might actually wait a month for her. But enough with the sap. I need to get to bed. I hope you all enjoyed your weekend as much as I did...G'night!

My social life

THIS HAS BEEN THE GAYEST WEEKEND OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. It couldn't have been any more gay. At all. But no complaints here. I hung out with non military people so much and it's like I've been on vaca. I think the alarm clock going off at 0500 tomorrow morning is going to be a huge reality check that I'm not quite ready for.
In addition to the gayness I have successfully brought not one...but two, count them two...girls home. Ok so they were my friends and they only came over because I promised them gifts of cheddar cheese and slim jims, but they came here all the same. Go me! (You two rock by the way! Thanks for visiting at 5 am :)
And tonight, I've got another date or something...I'm not sure what it is. I'm happy and all but I sorta have this thing for this other girl that I hung out with this weekend and I'm not sure if she knows. I hope she doesn't. That might be embarrassing. She's the kind of girl that I just want to dork it up and be like...do you wanna go on a date with me (with the sweaty palms and shaky voice). I am not ready to face rejection just yet so I'll give it some time. Until then though, I'll go out on a date for sure tonight and see what happens...
I just needed to get that all off my chest, but I will be back to let you know how tonight went.
Peace out girl scouts!

Good day

Just for the record, today is going to be a great day. :)

Work...again

So here I am at work. Again. I think I spend too much time here...

So I went to the best bar Saturday night for my friends birthday. It's a lesbian bar in Seoul. It's definitely not as fun as gay bars in the states, but it's really amusing. Korean couples are really big into having definition between the masculine and feminine partner. There are no femme-femme partners or vice-versa. I'm not sure if that's their culture or if that's what they think being gay is all about. Also, Korean girls are mostly cute so where better to spend a Saturday night than in a bar surrounded by them.

Alright, I just needed to get a quick escape from work. I'll check in again in a few days.

Fried Green Tomatoes

I was watching Fried Green Tomatoes for only the second time in my life. The first was back in high school, at a Catholic school nonetheless. Needless to say they didn't talk about any subtext during that class. As I'm watching it now I realize that there was a relationship between the two girls. I don't know to what extent their relationship went, but I know that there was more than just friendship. It's like they're soulmates.
I think one of my greatest fears is not finding the person I was meant to be with. I've definitely found people I could tolerate in a longterm committed relationship. But who wants tolerance? I refuse to settle. I am completely certain that there is someone out there that I belong with. It's just that I'm getting a little impatient. And at the same time, I still have that small issue of not doing committment well. It's a paradox and I'm done fighting it. Besides, it's not like Korea offers all that much opportunity for me...
Whiiiiich is EXACTLY why I need to get back to the states. There are three thing the U.S. has that Korea doesn't
1) My Mustang
2) The Boston Red Sox
3) Great nightlife/Ptown :)
On the note of the Red Sox, I'm going to go. I'm still a little sour about Nomar and I need to calm down before I can talk about it.
Cheers!

The first...

OoooooK! I was sitting on the subway the other day and was watching this Korean girl sleep across from me. She had the angriest look on her face as she snored, and if I had a camera you'd be looking at her right now, but alas, I didn't have one. It's inspired two things...one is to start carrying a camera everywhere because if I photographed every oddity in Seoul I'd have the best comedy collection...and two is to begin this here blog. Hopefully I'll be able to put my pics up on the blog and you all can have a laugh.

Now, why am I in Seoul...Yay military. No it's not that exciting. But I've been here for a year and a quarter and I have another 9 more months to go. I'm trying to submerge myself in the Korean culture, which as it turns out, isn't really that hard. It involves a lot of eating, drinking, partying and bowing. That's about it. I can handle that. In fact, I'd say I'm an all star at being a Korea...SOMEONE GET ME A CITIZENSHIP CARD!

Ok, that's good enough for blog #1, check back soon and hopefully I'll have more for you to read. Oh and don't forget to say hi :)