Killer Americans, Cock and Balls, and Carlton...My trip to Shanghai
What a title, eh? Thought I'd give you an update on my trip to Shanghai. For those of you who don't know where Shanghai is (shame on you), it's on the east-central coastline in China. Sean and I had a great time. I'll go over the highlights of the trip which are conveniently summarized in the title of this blog.
1) Killer Americans. We went shopping at this market which has every knock of you could imagine and way better than Korea. I got a North Face jacket w/fleece liner, a 3 day hiking pack by North Face, adidas shelltop sneakers and about 20 DVDs...all for about 75 bucks. As I'm talking to one of the slipper guys, he says to me...where you from from? I said America. He said (in Chinese accent) "oh you American" the proceeds to make his hands into a machine gun and say bang, bang, bang. Sean and I are like, nonononoo no shooting. Then he says "Bush", so we say no. No. This guy thinks all Americans love Bush and are trained killers. That's a great reputation to have. Not.
2) Cock and Balls. The Shanghai tower, aka the Oriental Pearl Tower or something like that, is this huge monstrosity of a tower with a ball at the top. Restaurant and sight seeing at the top but we didn't go. We were on the other side of the river bank. So Sean and I walk up the steps to the Bund which is a walkway along the river. As we're walking up the steps the entire tower comes into view. And what's at the bottom of the already phallic symbol? That's right, two huge globes with the world painted on it. I looked at it, then looked at Seany and said, Sean, that's a cock and balls. He's like, yeah, that's a cock and balls alright. And we took some pics and then smoked a cigarette while staring at the huge cock and balls. Amazing, way to go Shanghai. Compensating for something?
3) Carlton, the best little jazz and blues singer in Shanghai. We went to the house of Jazz and Blues on the offchance that it was a nice bar to have wine at. Turns out it was, and it had a live band. Who happened to be from the states, and they rocked the house. Carlton had the best stage presence of any performer I've seen in a local venue than that. Snoop Dogg and Dre have him beat for the large crowds, but Carlton is still the man. So was Eduardo who improv played the guitar. Eduardo is from Brazil and was vacationing with his Chinese wife. Eduardo cannot dance, but he can play a mean guitar solo. Frank was also good, he's a local expat and played the harmonica with the band when Carlton asked him to play. Frank you also rock.
That was my trip, I'll be posting pictures from my trip to Shanghizzle as soon as I get off my lazy ass and download them onto the computer.
1) Killer Americans. We went shopping at this market which has every knock of you could imagine and way better than Korea. I got a North Face jacket w/fleece liner, a 3 day hiking pack by North Face, adidas shelltop sneakers and about 20 DVDs...all for about 75 bucks. As I'm talking to one of the slipper guys, he says to me...where you from from? I said America. He said (in Chinese accent) "oh you American" the proceeds to make his hands into a machine gun and say bang, bang, bang. Sean and I are like, nonononoo no shooting. Then he says "Bush", so we say no. No. This guy thinks all Americans love Bush and are trained killers. That's a great reputation to have. Not.
2) Cock and Balls. The Shanghai tower, aka the Oriental Pearl Tower or something like that, is this huge monstrosity of a tower with a ball at the top. Restaurant and sight seeing at the top but we didn't go. We were on the other side of the river bank. So Sean and I walk up the steps to the Bund which is a walkway along the river. As we're walking up the steps the entire tower comes into view. And what's at the bottom of the already phallic symbol? That's right, two huge globes with the world painted on it. I looked at it, then looked at Seany and said, Sean, that's a cock and balls. He's like, yeah, that's a cock and balls alright. And we took some pics and then smoked a cigarette while staring at the huge cock and balls. Amazing, way to go Shanghai. Compensating for something?
3) Carlton, the best little jazz and blues singer in Shanghai. We went to the house of Jazz and Blues on the offchance that it was a nice bar to have wine at. Turns out it was, and it had a live band. Who happened to be from the states, and they rocked the house. Carlton had the best stage presence of any performer I've seen in a local venue than that. Snoop Dogg and Dre have him beat for the large crowds, but Carlton is still the man. So was Eduardo who improv played the guitar. Eduardo is from Brazil and was vacationing with his Chinese wife. Eduardo cannot dance, but he can play a mean guitar solo. Frank was also good, he's a local expat and played the harmonica with the band when Carlton asked him to play. Frank you also rock.
That was my trip, I'll be posting pictures from my trip to Shanghizzle as soon as I get off my lazy ass and download them onto the computer.
posted by Lyss at 1:32 PM
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